Jane Yao's Blog

The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called today. Today is yesterday’s tomorrow. The question is what did we do with its opportunity? All too often we will waste tomorrow as we wasted yesterday, and as we are wasting today. All that could have been accomplished can easily elude us, despite our intentions, until we inevitably discover that the things that might have been have slipped from our embrace a single, unused day at a time.

Each of us must pause frequently to remind ourselves that the clock is ticking. The same clock that began to tick from the moment we drew our first breath will also someday cease.

Time is the great equalizer of all mankind. It has taken away the best and the worst of us without regard for either. Time offers opportunity but demands a sense of urgency.

When the game of life is finally over, there is no second chance to correct our errors. The clock that is ticking away the moments of our lives does not care about winners and losers. It does not care about who succeeds or who fails. It does not care about excuses, fairness or equality. The only essential issue is how we played the game.

Regardless of a person’s current age, there is a sense of urgency that should drive them into action now – this very moment. We should be constantly aware of the value of each and every moment of our lives – moments that seem so insignificant that their loss often goes unnoticed.

We still have all the time we need. We still have lots of chances – lots of opportunities – lots of years to show what we can do. For most of us, there will be a tomorrow, a next week, a next month, and a next year. But unless we develop a sense of urgency, those brief windows of time will be sadly wasted, as were the weeks and months and years before them. There isn’t an endless supply!

So as you think of your dreams and goals of your future tomorrow, begin today to take those very important first steps to making them all come to life.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

Note: This article was originally written at mid year so it is good reminder around June but the principles are applicable anytime.

In a sporting event, the players are given a break at the half in order to refresh themselves, look at how they played in the first half, and set strategy for the second half. So as you approach halftime, here are some thoughts. Do you have a vacation planned in the next two months that will give you the needed break and refreshment? If not, schedule one this week! How did you “play” in the first half of this year? Have you met your goals that you established at the beginning of the year? Here are a few ideas to evaluate where you are at with your goals as you approach the halfway mark.

Take some time to sit down alone and review your goals. How many are you on mark to make? How many have you not even begun on? How many have you achieved?

For those you haven’t even begun, my suggestion would be to reset your goal at 10 percent of the original goal. Obviously this goal hasn’t been a priority, for whatever reason, and most likely won’t suddenly become so. But you can make some ground. Set a small increase for the remaining six months and get ahead a little in these areas.

For the goals you are on pace to achieve, try to stretch about 10 percent. So, to give it a numerical value, if your original goal was 10 and you have already reached 5 after halfway, stretch yourself to try to achieve 11 by the end of the year. This will give you a good reason to kick into high gear as the year progresses.

For those goals you are on pace to break strongly through, try an increase of 50 percent.

And finally, for the goals you have already reached, try to set the new goal at 100 percent of the original goal.

In all of these remember that it is better to try hard, and even fail at a higher goal, than to take the easy route and attain nothing at all!

Best of luck as you re-evaluate your goals!

At this point, you have probably run across some belongings that don’t exactly serve a practical purpose in your life. Some items simply cannot be judged according to their function alone. Certain objects, such as artwork or collectibles, are kept because they are aesthetically pleasing. Others are treasured for their sentimental value. However, there is another set of criteria that you may find easier to apply in these situations.

IS IT BEAUTIFUL, USEFUL, OR LOVED?

Artist William Morrison developed the most effective way to determine if an item truly serves a purpose. Ask yourself if the object is “beautiful, useful, or loved.” I teach this phrase to my clients like a mantra — repeated over and over and over (actually, they get a bit sick of it after awhile!) Imagine your most treasured belongings — they all seem to fit into one of these three categories, don’t they? Think about it — if an object isn’t beautiful, useful, or loved, then why are you keeping it?

BUT IT WAS EXPENSIVE!

You may say that you are keeping an item because you spent a lot of money on it, and you can’t stand to see it go to waste. Well, if you aren’t using it now, isn’t it still going to waste? Keeping something simply because it was costly is not a good enough REASON. These objects are nothing but high-price reminders of purchasing mistakes you made in the past. Perhaps you can sell it (yard sale, consignment, online auction) and recoup some of the expense.

I MIGHT BE ABLE TO WEAR IT AGAIN!

So, you’re keeping those size 3 clothes because you MIGHT fit into them again some day. One question — does keeping a garment that is too small encourage you to lose weight or fill you with shame because you still haven’t reached your goal? We heap enough guilt onto our heads every day without creating additional pressures. Isn’t it healthier to focus on feeling better about your appearance NOW? Why not take your old wardrobe to a consignment shop — then spend your profits on clothes that fit and make you feel attractive just as you are.

DON’T “GUILT TRIP” YOURSELF

Another rationalization that I hear fairly regularly is, “Aunt Mildred gave that to me. She would be so (disappointed, hurt, angry) if I got rid of it.” I can only respond by asking, “Who runs your life — you or your Aunt Mildred?” I firmly believe that once you receive a gift, it is yours to do with as you see fit. We place too much importance on “stuff” as it is, without creating an unnecessary sense of obligation. The idea of keeping something that you have no use for, just so you can drag it out when your relatives visit, seems a bit dishonest. Wouldn’t you prefer that your loved ones respect who you are, rather than who they want you to be?

FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES, AND STRANGERS

If you are still having a hard time letting go of your clutter, you might try an alternative approach. Judith Kolberg, head of the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization, suggests that you treat your belongings as “friends, acquaintances, and strangers.” Friends are those items that you like having around — ones that really mean something to you. Acquaintances are objects that come into your life, stay for a short time, and then leave again. And strangers are easily discarded — you have no strong feelings of devotion toward these items. This method works particularly well for people who have powerful emotional attachments to their belongings.

It was a mild summer day in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina when I boarded United Airline flight 7318 to Washington, DC. Like usual, I promptly located my window seat, with no doubts that the pilots would safely take me to my destination.

Suddenly, as I sat gazing out of the window waiting for take-off, certain questions unfolded in my mind. I wondered, “Who are these pilots that I wholeheartedly entrust with my life?” I wondered about my surety of knowing that they would, or could take me to my destination. I also pondered on “Why it is that I — or we as individuals, trustingly and unwaveringly allow others to continuously pilot our lives without questions or reservations?”

We permit others to pilot our lives while we unquestionably find our seat near the window – just watching – watching our lives quickly pass by. We lack faith in ourselves, because too often, we allow others such as bosses, friends, family and even enemies, to navigate our lives. We allow others to pilot our lives because of their negative words. We allow others to pilot our lives because they claim to know what is best for us. We live on autopilot without a clue as to where we are headed, or how we will get there.

We must declare that we will no longer allow other people to take control of our lives – or of our future. No matter how cloudy things look, no matter how dark our past is, we must remember that God is in control.

Allow God to be your pilot — as you co-pilot your own life into a prosperous and promising future.

Declare today: I will no longer sit back and allow other people to control my life into an uncertain and discontented future. The past is behind me — and only the best is yet to come!

Copyright 2003 by Audrina Jones Bunton. REPRINTING THIS ARTICLE: Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this article only in its entirety and provided copyright is acknowledged. You can find other articles to choose from at http://www.purposefully-living.com/mailing%20list.htm

Some people are naturally pessimistic and are happy being so. They view themselves as pragmatic and as having a better sense of reality. Then there are those of us who feel weighed down by negativity and wish that we could be more optimistic. This is completely possible. It all lies in the way we perceive things…

1. Stress management

When we conceal our anxieties, they only build. Each concern can snowball into a feeling of being overwhelmed. Each person has their own way of letting off steam. This varies from exercise, to listening to music, to reading a good book. More of us are beginning to realize how important proper stress management is to both our physical and mental health.

2. Constant reality checks

It is sometimes necessary to debate the validity of your concerns to determine whether they are rational or not. This is called self-rationalization and one of the most recognized methods is the worst case scenario. This is when you consider the worst possible situation, then go on to consider whether it is likely to happen. For example, a loved one said they would call once they arrived by subway to a certain destination. They should have reached that destination 15 minutes ago. You may dream up scenarios of there being a train accident or some other frightful incident took place. But after a little thought, you find that it’s more probable that they either have yet to reach their stop or they will simply call you when it is convenient for them. You never want to leap to conclusions and cause yourself unnecessary stress.

3. Support of friends and family

Friends and family are usually more than willing to provide you with a much needed reality check. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have close friends and family members to confide in though. It is detrimental to find some type of support when you are feeling extremely confused or overwhelmed. This support may have to come from a trusted co-worker or a member of a support group. Sometimes all it takes is another person’s point of view to put things into perspective.

4. Own your feelings

Accept that you have complete control over your perceptions and internal responses. You may not have control over what happened on your commute to work that upset you. But you are able to decide whether you become relieved when the day is finally over, or frustrated, claiming you are always being dealt a bad hand.

Nothing stops us. Well, almost nothing. Although we do live in a world that whirls at breakneck speed, there are a few things that will stop us in our tracks. When tragedy strikes, our attentions are diverted from our normal hustle and bustle to the turmoil at hand. The perfect example of this is, of course, the world’s reaction to the September 11 terrorist attacks on the United States and the events following it.

As we witness catastrophic events unfold around us, our own mortality becomes evident. In reaction to this, we vow to devote more time to the “important things” in life and do less quibbling about the “small stuff”

Post any tragedy, we are thankful for life’s blessings. People often attend church services more, spend more time with their families and are just nicer to one another in general.

But Time changes everything and these newfound priorities have a way of being forgotten. It’s much easier to slip back into the comfort of our old habits that it is to face the harsh reality of life and our own mortality.

To effectively reach your goals, your drive and vision must come from within. When it comes from outside sources, it may be ineffective long-term. According to John Donoghue, performance psychologist coach, “Motivation is only a temporary emotive action which usually has no real lasting effort nor does it make permanent changes.”

In order to be truly successful in achieving goals, we must give ourselves a critical assessment and work to continually improve ourselves. “A person’s performance and behavior will always be consistent with the picture they hold of themselves, i.e. their ‘self-image’,” says Donoghue.

And since nothing can improve our self-image like reaching goals, being successful can lead to more success. We are our own best coaches and motivators, and when the will to win comes from within, almost nothing can stop us.

In setting and striving for goals, there are many things we can do to help ensure success. One is to use the “SMARTER” approach to achieve your goals:

Specific: Is your goal specific enough to move toward?

Measurable: Is your goal tangible enough to measure?

Attainable: Is this goal possible for you at this point in time?

Relevant: Is your goal tied to what is most important?

Trackable: Can you chart your progress for this goal?

Elasticity: Are you and your goal flexible enough?

Rememberable: Will reaching your goal be a celebratory event?

When I was small, I have never considered the importance of time. I would just laze around, watch TV, lie in bed, and play video games. As I grew older, I thought about the things that I have achieved. To my surprise, I wasn’t able to accomplish a lot.

I resolved to myself that I will do things that will contribute to the benefit of mankind. I studied very hard and learned a lot of lessons from my experience. I lack self-confidence before, so I want to help other people overcome this predicament.

I became obsessed with self-improvement, so I started a newsletter. I’m also working on an ebook about persuasion as I’m writing this. I want to help anyone in need because it feels so good to solve other people’s problems.

I urge you now to make the most use of your time. It may be joining a fundraising organization. You may also learn new skills or crafts. Create a goal and go for it!

Don’t be a couch potato. Don’t just sit around and be contented with the monotonous patterns of your daily activities.

Do something nice and give all your best to the fulfillment of a worthwhile endeavor. It will give you a very deep sense of happiness and satisfaction.

Some people complain that they don’t have enough time to take action on their goals. They have to go to their 9 to 5 job, then when they go home they feel so tired all they can think about is watch TV, relax, and sleep.

I’m not saying that leisure is a no-no. In fact, everyone should take time out once in a while to recharge and revitalize their energy. The key is to have a balanced life. Set aside a fraction of your time to carry out your dreams and ambitions. Reserve some time to establish healthy relationships.

Ok, I hear you. You’re saying that you really just can’t budget your time?

Don’t panic. Here are some time management tips.

1) If possible, do more than one thing at the same time.

Exercise while watching your favorite TV show. Listen to educational tapes while waiting for the bus.

Be forewarned! Never do this if it puts you at risk or in danger; for example, don’t text while driving.

2) Don’t do something later if it can be done concurrently with an activity at present.

If you’re going to the market to buy some eggs, think of the other things that you have to purchase so that you don’t have to return again.

If you have an appointment with the dentist today and you also have to go to the bank (which is near the dentist’s clinic) at any day, schedule the two activities on the same day.

3) Be organized in everything that you do.

Put labels on bottles. Put similar files on one folder. Make a list of things you have to do for the day.

You can also use your mind to organize things you have to remember. Studies have shown that you could only retain information that fit between 5 to 9 categories at a time. This is the 7+-2 rule of Neurolinguistic Programming.

If you have many things to do, try to group related things together. You can combine activities such as reading books, listening to educational tapes, and watching training videos into a category such as “Education.” Then you can group swimming, playing basketball, and paying fees for the gym in a category called “Fitness.” Get the picture?

Time is one of our most valuable resources. Once lost, it can never be reclaimed. We must use time wisely for our development and advancement; so that when we are old, we can look back and recollect the pleasant memories and deeds that we have achieved. Time well spent is worth much more than gold.

There are things that we do automatically internally that we don’t even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine.

A few months ago I made a statement in a small group of co-workers concerning the fact that somewhere along the way, as a mechanism (as in “clear the… ” (from the movie ‘For the Love of the Game’, see it if you haven’t. It’s awesome…)) for getting through tough situations, I developed the belief that I always win. ALWAYS! Until I said it and it was “out there” I hadn’t ever really thought about it in terms of being a belief that I had. I feel though that having this belief has smoothed me out. I don’t suffer drastic fluctuations in the way I feel based on how things are going for me.

Basically I always feel pretty up in the game. It’s because of this goofy voice in the back of my mind that constantly reminds me that no matter how bad things may look right now “you know you’re gonna win, why even get bothered about it”. I just believe I’m always going to win. What I’m saying here is that no matter what the situation I believe that if I keep my head, and dig into it more I will be shown a way to see myself as better off for the new experience that I’ve just encountered. No matter how rough the experience may appear to observers on the outside, you’d better understand and believe on the inside Clyde’s winnin’ baby.

A little education here, bare with me…

Back when I was playing in lots of racquetball tournaments, and losing more than I was winning, it was rough mentally. There were times at the end of certain matches when I had just got beaten so badly that I really seriously considered trying to dig a hole into that hardwood floor and covering myself up. This rather than go out of that stinkin little door and face what was on the outside of the court. Racquetball is not a huge spectator sport but there were some tournaments in California and Texas, two states where the sport enjoys it’s largest participation, when somewhere around 500 to 600 people would turn out to see the action.

Now that doesn’t sound like a lot of people when you consider how many people show up for some other sporting events, but in racquetball the fans are a lot closer to you when you exit the field of play than they are in most other sports. So close in fact that you can feel their stares and hear their comments about your performance, and we all know everyone has an opinion. They get to look into your eyes, and you into theirs. That’s close, and not always comfortable. It’s one of the now small things that I had to learn to deal with.

In racquetball if you get beat without scoring, as in 15 – 0, it’s called “taking a donut”. Let me tell you guys and girls something right here right now, you gotta have a strong constitution to take a ‘double donut’ in a 2 out of 3 game match and still show up the next weekend to possibly face the same opponent with many of the same people looking on. At one point my practice buddies took to calling me ‘the baker’. I must have set some kind of record with the number of donuts I took in tournament play. I got so tired of hearing the question “Man, what happened?” that I developed a personal policy to never talk about the score off the racquetball court. Whether I came out ahead on the scoreboard or not I never talked about it. Period.

From this policy of never acknowledging the scoreboard grew inside of me a complete lack of focus on it. I would go into matches with personal goals that had nothing to do with what was on the scoreboard or how the match turned out. What I began to figure out was that the less energy I put into keeping score the more I had to put into playing the game. Which I guess made me a better player because the better I got at controlling this focus the more I played on Saturday and Sunday. (Which is a good thing.) Mentally letting go of the scoreboard freed me up to just play, which I had no problem doing once I figured this out.

Here’s the meat.

When it comes to what you focus on, realize it’s your decision. In life you can choose to focus on what everyone else thinks is important, or you could pick 2 or 3 things for yourself. Things that are important to you. You can be told what’s important and accept what you’ve been told, or you could figure out for yourself where your focus should be based on what works for you.

Do not be afraid to be different. That’s the beauty of the system were all in here together. We’re all going to the exact same place but we all have different road maps for getting there. Your journey shouldn’t look exactly like mine, because my journey is not your journey. How you get to where we’re going is between you and your internal guide.

In closing I want to encourage you to be you. Examine the things that work for you and do more of them. The things that don’t work for you, discard them. If being focused on the scoreboard doesn’t work for you then forget it exist. Establish your own scoring system. Make your own rules. Define things in your own terms. Of course there is an established frame work within which we must all work, but I have found that the borders of this frame work are a whole lot further out than they first appear to be.

Don’t wait to be led to where you want to go, be your own leader. Go there.

Thanks for your time.

Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.

C…

When it comes to achieving accomplishments there are two foundational actions that must take place. When these two actions take place, and take place in the right order, you will become unstoppable. You will also enter into an elite group of people who actually do both.

You see, most people are given to only one or the other, and in doing so negate their opportunity to accomplish what it is that they want to accomplish.

What are these two actions?

Intake and output.

Think about it. Do you want to have a healthy body? You must take in proper food and output vigorous exercise. Do you want to be financially fit? You must intake income and output investments.

The same is true in our personal and professional lives. But what specifically do we intake and output?

We intake information and we out put effort through the exercise of our will.

The twin actions of accomplishment then are the intake of information and the exercising of our will.

As I said, most people do one or the other. They are simply information addicts or they are action addicts. You have some who go to every seminar in the world and then never exercise their will to put it into practice. Others are simply a flurry of action but going in no specific direction.

When you only intake information you become fat! Not physically fat but personally fat. You become lethargic. You become frustrated because all of this information was supposed to change your life!

When you only exercise your will and become a tornado of activity you become spent. You become tired because you aren’t achieving anything but a busy schedule!

But when you put these two together – WOW! Look out because you will turn the world upside down! So let’s look at these two a little closer.

How can you intake information?

1. Choose as close friends, people who will challenge and stimulate you intellectually and personally.

2. Go back to school.

3. Buy success products and listen to them.

4. Read books.

5. Go to a seminar.

6. Get involved in an ongoing discussion group with people who want to grow.

How can you exercise the will? This is a bit simpler but not so easy.

1. You simply must act on the information.

2. Eat better foods – put down the ice cream.

3. Save more money – stop spending on superfluous items.

4. Lose weight – start walking every day.

5. Manage your time – shut off the TV.

All of these things we know what to do, but we must simply do it.

Are you a person who has all the info? Then act.

Are you a person who acts but doesn’t get anywhere? Then learn.

Intake information, exercise the will. The twin actions of accomplishment.

(Excerpted from The Power of Ambition series)

What is the origin of true ambition? There exists really only one place to find true ambition and that is within you – in every thought, in every movement, in every motivation. Your ambition is an expression of who you truly are, your own self-expression.

Self-expression. Isn’t self-expression really self-direction? How you think, how you move, how you motivate yourself. Ambition is a result of self-direction and self-direction is one of the six key principles necessary for building ambition. Positive self-direction says, “I know who I am and I know where I want to go. I’m accumulating knowledge and experiences and feelings and philosophies that will help prepare me for opportunities that I know will show up without notice or any help on my part.” Because you know where you want to go, you have already been working on the parts of your personality that will make you better. Working on your attitude, working on your health, working on your time management skills. Putting it all down on paper. And you constantly see yourself in the place you want to be, going in the direction you want to go.

Direction determines destination. So here is a question you must ask yourself, “Are all the disciplines that I’m currently engaged in taking me where I want to go?” What an important question to ask yourself at the beginning of the month, the beginning of the week, the beginning of the day. Because here is what you don’t ever want to do – kid yourself. Kid your neighbor, kid me and kid the marketplace, but don’t kid yourself – fingers crossed – hoping you will arrive at a good destination when you’re not even headed that way. You have to ask yourself often, Am I? Am I doing the disciplines that are taking me in the direction I want to go? Don’t neglect to ask these important questions, questions that help determine your direction, the set of your sail, your destination.

Is this the direction I want for my life?

Is this someone else’s direction?

Is this a goal I have been ingrained with since my childhood?

Is this goal my parent’s, my spouse’s, my boss’, my children’s or is it Mine?

Ask yourself these questions and then debate them. After you have answered these questions within yourself, then take it one step further and ask, “What am I doing that is working or not working?” Debate it all. Work with your mind to figure out the best possible direction for you – your self-direction. And then ambitiously pursue your own self-direction. Let the power of your own ambition take you where you want to go, to do what you want to do, to create the life you want to live!

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn